Pointing in Children: When It Develops and How Parents Can Help

Why pointing matters

Pointing is one of a baby’s first ways of talking, long before words. Most children start pointing with their index finger between 9 and 14 months.

When a child points, they are telling you something: “I want that” or “Look at that!” Pointing shows that the child understands that other people can look at the same thing and share the moment with them. That is why doctors check pointing closely when assessing speech delay and autism.

The good news: pointing can be taught and strengthened at home through simple daily play.

When does pointing develop?

Pointing grows in clear steps over the first two years. Ages are approximate; each child moves at their own pace within a range.

Age	What you will see
6–9 months	Reaches with the whole hand toward things they want; follows your gaze briefly
9–12 months	Starts pointing with the index finger, mostly to ask for things (“give me that”); looks where you point when the object is close
12–14 months	Points to show you something interesting (a dog, an aeroplane) and looks back at your face to check you saw it
12–18 months	Points to familiar objects or pictures when you name them (“Where is the ball?”); follows your point to things farther away
18–24 months	Points to body parts and many pictures in books when asked; says a word while pointing (“car!”)
2–3 years	Points while speaking in short sentences; pointing slowly gives way to words

Need-based pointing vs name-based pointing

Not all pointing is the same. Children use three kinds, and each tells us something different.

1. Need-based pointing (“I want that”) — the child points to get something: a biscuit on the shelf, a toy out of reach. Doctors call it imperative pointing. It usually appears first, around 9–12 months, and is driven by need.

2. Name-based pointing (“There it is”) — the child points when you name something: “Where is papa?”, “Where is the fan?”, “Show me your nose.” This shows understanding of words, so it is a key sign of receptive language. It develops from about 12–18 months.

3. Sharing pointing (“Look at that!”) — the child points at something only to share interest, not to get it, and looks back at your face. This is called declarative pointing, appears around 12–14 months, and is the most important sign of social connection.

	Need-based pointing	Name-based pointing	Sharing pointing
Child’s message	“Give me that”	“Here it is” (answers you)	“Look at that!”
Starts around	9–12 months	12–18 months	12–14 months
What it shows	Can communicate needs	Understands words (receptive language)	Wants to share attention with you
Looks at your face?	Sometimes	Often, to check if right	Yes — looks back and forth
Example	Points to water bottle when thirsty	Points to the katori when you ask “Where is the katori?”	Points to a bird in the sky and smiles at you

Why the difference matters: some children point only when they need something but never point to share or to show named objects. This pattern is common in autism and late talkers, and it is worth discussing with your doctor.

Red flags: when to consult a doctor

Speak to a paediatrician or developmental specialist if you notice any of these:

No pointing at all by 14 months
No pointing to show or share interest by 16 months
Points only to get things, never to show you something
Does not point to familiar people or objects when named by 18 months
Does not look where you point
Takes your hand and uses it like a tool to reach things, instead of pointing
Rarely looks at your face while pointing or after pointing
Loses pointing or other skills they once had — at any age, this needs prompt attention

A red flag is not a diagnosis. It means your child should be checked so that help, if needed, starts early.

What parents can do every day

These simple habits teach pointing through daily routines, not separate lessons.

Point a lot yourself. Point to things all day and name them: “Look — a cow!” Children learn pointing by watching you.
Get down to your child’s eye level. Sit face to face so your child can see both your finger and your face.
Create small needs. Keep favourite toys and snacks in sight but out of reach, so your child has a reason to point.
Wait before helping. Hold out two choices and wait 5–10 seconds. Don’t hand things over the moment your child cries or pulls you.
Help, then fade the help. If your child doesn’t point, gently shape their hand into a point, touch the object together, then give it. Use less help each time.
Reward every point at once. Give the item straight away with praise and the word: “Ball! You pointed!”
Follow your child’s point. When your child points, look, smile and name it. This teaches that pointing gets attention as well as things.
Pair pointing with words. Always say the name of what is pointed at, so pointing becomes a bridge to speech.
Cut screen time. Screens cannot respond to a point. Face-to-face play is what builds this skill.
Be consistent across family members. Ask grandparents and others to follow the same “wait for the point” rule.

Activities to improve pointing

Do these for 5–10 minutes at a time, several times a day. Stop while your child is still enjoying it.

Step 1 — Build the finger (finger isolation)

Activity	How to do it
Bubble popping	Blow bubbles and help your child pop them with one finger
Poke play dough	Make holes in atta or play dough with the index finger
Button pressing	Use toy pianos, pop-up toys and light switches, pressed with one finger
Finger painting	Paint dots and lines with the index finger only
Sticker finger	Put a small sticker on the index finger and let your child touch it to things

Step 2 — Need-based pointing (“I want that”)

Activity	How to do it
Snack choices	Hold up two snacks; wait for a point before giving the chosen one
Toy on a shelf	Put a favourite toy on a visible high shelf; wait, help shape the point, then give it
Clear box	Keep toys in a clear closed box; your child points to the toy they want
Turn-taking with treats	Give one small piece at a time so your child has many chances to point

Step 3 — Name-based pointing (“Where is…?”)

Activity	How to do it
“Where is papa?” game	Ask about family members in the room; point together, then praise
Picture books	Ask “Where is the dog?” and help your child touch the picture; use simple books with one big picture per page
Body part songs	Sing “Head, shoulders, knees and toes” and point to each part together
Two-object game	Place two familiar objects (spoon, cup) on the table; ask for one; increase to three and four objects slowly
Family photo album	Ask “Where is Nani?” and let your child find and point

Step 4 — Sharing pointing (“Look at that!”)

Activity	How to do it
Window watching	Point to birds, cars, cows outside; say “Look!” and look back at your child with excitement
Surprise toys	Hide a toy where your child will find it; when they notice it, point together and react
Balcony or park walks	Stop often to point at interesting things; wait to see if your child points too
Peekaboo with objects	Hide a toy under a cloth, reveal it with a big “There it is!” and point

Common mistakes to avoid

Guessing every need before your child tries to communicate
Giving things when your child pulls your hand instead of waiting for a point
Testing instead of playing (“Point! Point! Point!”) — keep it fun, not a drill
Forcing the hand when your child is upset — try again later when calm
Giving up too soon — most children need many weeks of daily practice

Final word

Pointing is a small finger movement with a big meaning: it is your child’s first bridge to language and connection. Practise a little every day, celebrate every point, and consult your doctor early if you see the red flags above. Early help makes a real difference.

For Appointment Contact- Dr Sumeet Dhawan – whatsapp 918208537763